There is currently a festive atmosphere in the Friendly House in Doboj. The children are looking forward to the winter holidays, and the house is decorated with the most beautiful holiday decorations. The house is filled with plants, books and children’s toys, and what makes them happiest are the animals they take care of together. They have two dogs, two cats, fish and parrots.
By: Amra Ahmetović; Photo: Amra Ahmetović
The journey of the Dutchwoman Marliz van Hofen, who came to Doboj and made the lives of many children more beautiful, began in 1993. Then she came to Bosnia and Herzegovina with her aunt to help people. She founded the “Friendly House”, which has housed 64 children so far, and the youngest child currently housed there is only three years old.
A very pleasant environment has been created, adapted for children. In conversation with them, we notice that they feel comfortable at home, and they themselves express their satisfaction and say that they have great love and support in the House.
Marliz initially brought humanitarian aid to Doboj. Realizing that there are no homes for neglected children in this city and that the closest one is in Banja Luka, with the support of people from the Netherlands, he realized the idea of the Friendly House. She left her job in the Netherlands and sold the apartment, then bought a house in Doboj and provided a home for children without parental care.
From the very beginning, Marliz has strived to enable children to feel part of the family, to feel the warmth of home and to provide support. She has the greatest financial support from the Netherlands, and from Bosnia and Herzegovina, as she says, and there is no concrete help.
She cooperates with the local Social Work Center, which directs children to accommodation in the Friendly House. Currently there are five children and one student who has been in the house since birth. She is currently 22 years old.
“Our medical student has been here since the first months of her life, she has progressed, and she is currently studying in Novi Sad, so she is not staying at home very often,” Marliz proudly points out.
In addition to children who do not have parents, children who have been exposed to some kind of violence or have been neglected also come to the Friendly House. All these circumstances affect children, both physically and mentally. Some of them are falling behind in development, so they need special and extra attention.
“Children who are only a few months old often come to us. We try to get those babies adopted or to make parents aware that they accept their child and their responsibilities,” Marliz tells us.
She explains that children can leave the house when the conditions are met to have an independent life.
“I don’t let children out of the house when they turn 18, they leave when they find a job, enroll in university or get married. I don’t let them on the street unprepared,” she said.
Life with children is full of challenges, each of them requires a different approach, given that they come from different life situations. What she points out as very important is that she has always had open communication with them, that they can confide in her and tell her about any problem.
“What I focus on is that I usually talk to them about plans and a beautiful future, about what they want to become and how to fulfil their dreams. I often motivate and support them,” she said.
In addition to attending regular classes, the children from the Friendly House practice sports or play musical instruments. The girls and boys in the house are cheerful, playful and ready to socialize. During our visit, they told us about their hobbies and the sports they like, their successes at school, and at the end we played a board game.
In addition to caring for children at the Friendly House, Marliz has three children of her own. She adopted two of them in 2002, and today they are accomplished people who lead their own independent lives. She provides love to every child in the house and gives each of them time and attention.
“I look at every child in the house as my own child and I am very attached to them. The most important thing for me is to create a family atmosphere in the house, and I teach them to look at themselves as sisters and brothers,” she explains.
An important thing for Marliz is also communication with children when they leave the Friendly House, she provides support even after their stay in the house, creating friendly relationships that last a lifetime.
Employees, whom she hires to take care of the children, also help her with housework. However, children also have their obligations and responsibilities.
“Everyone has their own task. The meal is followed by a collective dishwashing, everyone makes their own bed, and the older children take care of the younger ones,” says Marliz.
He points out that he also gives an opportunity to parents who want to return their children, but only in confirmed situations and when there is evidence that problematic parents have changed their behavior.
As she says, she is happiest and most fulfilled when she helps a child and makes a child happy.
